Life is Like a Box of Wine

I Love Scotch

And so begins another talk about booze. Wine, of course. The alcohol of choice because of all the antioxidants, duh.

Today in my new media and public relations class - the class requiring me to maintain this blog (what? You thought I was doing this for pleasure?!) The professor ended the lecture - thus initiated my holiday - with this little ditty...



Of course the part which sticks in my mind and speaks to my inner soul, is the bit about bad wine.

Bad wine. Some just call it affordable. I call it delicious.

Life is too short for saving good wine, says Ric. I agree, then add, to hell with cliches. Why pass up a wine when you could drink it? Life may be short but sometimes at work, or in class, or while watching a Law & Order marathon...life seems really long.

But bad wine remains.

Didn't you see this bit in The New York Times Magazine about the people who never die? On average, each of these centenarians (oh what a lovely word centenarian is!) imbibe 2-3.5 glasses of local wine daily. That's like a glass with every meal, plus a little something just before naptime. It is local wine, which probably means crushed by the gnarled feet of your 98-year-old neighbor. The centenarians drink it, and they live and live and live.

So, life is not short when you drink bad wine.

Not bad, just cheap! Try this one as an aperitif to the glutton feast this week.

Another example, my mom and stepdad. They married some couple decades ago, saving a bottle of champagne (more likely, a local sparkling white wine) from the wedding. The bottle even retained the original iridescent ribbon around the neck which uncurled unceremoniously as the years passed. What occasion they were waiting for to pop the drying cork is above my level of security clearance. I can surmise that the  champagne was probably split in half in the divorce proceedings.

Drink the damn alcohol before the shortness of life drags on and you are old and sober and sad.

Such is my little motto as I step into the Thanksgiving holiday. Yesterday it was desserting my way into inspiration, today I seek wine. I love wine. Winey, wine wine. Here it goes down, down into my belly. Mm, mm, mmm.

Rewrite - that is my new little motto. I love wine. Winey wine wine.

Free wine with husband! This one is mine, find your own.

If you still disagree, you're not drinking enough. When you do it right, the next morning should feel like a lifetime.